Will Getting Curly Bangs Change My Life for the Better?
Read the full post on Sally Mag
For most women, the past year has been pretty much a wash in the “turning looks” department. As a result, reports have shown women shifting their spending from makeup to skincare. The “full beat” look that started showing up on Instagram in 2014 is pretty much out the window, while dewy, low maintenance Glossier-like looks are in. Girls don’t want to put on tight dresses and heels; we want to lay in sunbeams and roll around like a little cat in our Nap Dress.
With hair salons closed, women were forced to ditch the highlights and blowouts. Without full beauty teams, even celebrities began posting pictures of themselves rocking their au naturel hair textures. Did you know Ariana Grande has natural waves?
The pandemic seems to have put the proverbial nail in the coffin of Trying Too Hard. This is the era of Embracing the Natural You. (Or at least spending a very long time to make it look that way.)
It’s a pretty good time to be in the curly hair gang. Nothing says effortless, natural, and breezy like curls . . . except maybe one thing . . . . The question that’s been haunting me all my adult life: Should I get curly bangs?
I can’t help but thinking that my not having curly bangs is the one thing truly holding me back in life. Are they my personal Limitless pill? The thing that’ll unlock the full potential of Me?
I’ll explain, so you don’t think I’m crazy. (To be clear, I absolutely am, but it’s cute and on-brand. More on that in a moment.) Like any proper woman in her 20’s, I feel like I have built a brand for myself. I like to appear bold, but not contrived. I think my curls would agree.
But I wonder if there’s more for me. That more is what curly bangs represent.
Curly hair says, “I woke up like this”, but curly bangs say, “And what about it, bitch?”
Curly hair says, “I am confident in myself.” While curly bangs boldly say, “I am confident... that I can slay you into submission with a single look.”
Curly bangs evoke images of brainy girls wearing Blundstones and beanies, reading feminist theory while drinking oat milk lattes at a coffee shop after a light hike. Curly Bangs Girls wear bold hand-made earrings from local craft fairs. CBG’s can stare into the sun unblinking for the perfect aloof, “Oh, me? My only beauty secret is drinking water”, selfie. On the opposite spectrum curly bangs take you on a retro journey to a neon-lit roller disco. Or Studio 54. An instant, quirky yet classy vintage shop surrounding your face. One woman who can be all these things simply gets what she wants.
What could the downside be?
Counterpoint. If I get curly bangs, and embody all of these facets in a single look, will I become too powerful? The last thing I want is to get high off my own power, just to have it come crashing down on me. Like Icarus flying too close to the sun… or Khaleesi… flying too high on her dragons then being killed by her nephew-boyfriend. (I’m not sure if this will be the new accepted idiom or not, but I just met a child named Tyrion, so I’m trying to stay relevant and hot). Is my average forehead, unimpeded by a glorious halo of curls, the only thing tethering me to earth? If fear of success is so utterly human then curly bangs are superhuman.
Also - and this is key - will I look like one of those mop dogs that seemingly come out of hiding once a year at the Westminster Dog Show and instantly regret it? (I looked it up, by the way, they’re called Komondors and should totally be a part of the femme vernacular for when we’re looking a certain way. Cousin It is out, Komondor is in.) I would never want to put my hairstylist and hardcore Taylor Swift fan, Alyssa - who I’ve come to trust and love in a way that can’t compare to my other female relationships - in a position where she has to deal with my vanity-related trauma. Folklore digs deep, but I don’t think it’d prepare her for the wreckage of me when I’m unable to come to terms with my bad style decision.
Perhaps making the move and getting curly bangs embodies what 2021 is about. When the pandemic hit and lockdowns were declared, we were suddenly full of regret for the things we didn’t do, the people we didn’t meet up with, the drag bars we didn’t go to, the late nights we spent watching TV instead of out with friends, the jobs we felt too inadequate to apply for, the clothes we didn’t wear, and the styles we didn’t try. If not now, when? Our potential was put on hold. So isn’t now - when there’s a small shimmering light at the end of this mess of a tunnel - the time to unlock all the parts of you that you've been holding back, without fear of failure?
Or... hell. Maybe you’ll just look like Komondor. But honestly? They’re pretty cute too.
